Issue 23: Remembering Dads on Dad Day
Hi Friends,
We took a two-week hiatus as our island continues to recover from Typhoon Mawar. We know it hasn’t been easy for everyone, with some having it a lot worse than others. As we pick the pieces back up, we’re so humbly reminded that Mother Nature gifts us with the most beautiful things, but she can also bring forth harsh seasons. Despite all this comes an opportunity to rebuild and see our communities come together.
We dedicate this issue to all our hardworking dads – the ones who help us pick up the pieces when things are a mess. They bring the muscle, the seriousness, the humor, the fun, and the balance into our homes. But with Father’s Day, it can also be a painful reminder of the good ones we’ve lost. Akina wanted to share a bit about her personal process into what this holiday means for her.
A Letter From Our Editor
In 2018, I lost my grandfather and then my father three months later. While Father's Day is typically a day of celebration for the father figures in our lives, it can also evoke a sense of sadness for those who don't have the physical presence of their beloved storyteller, monster chaser, all-around mechanic, superhero, and role model.
Each year, June brought a neverending rollercoaster of anger and solitude out of me. I spent the first years bargaining with God, endlessly begging for my dad back. Even writing this five years later, I realize how silly that was. There was no way my dad would physically come back.
My thoughts go back to angry five-year-old me crying because Dad was missing another birthday. Anger is always rooted in something much deeper, and in my case, that anger was a mask for a girl who just really missed her dad.
Even in moments like these, life tends to throw small learning opportunities. Overwhelmed with all of the emotions that this holiday brings, I reflect back to a life lesson my father taught me.
“All it takes is 15 seconds to change your mindset about anything.”
15 seconds to change a salty attitude to a constructive one.
A negative mindset into a positive one.
A bad day into a good one.
While I worked through the stages of grief (stages 2-4, particularly being anger, bargaining, and depression – go figure), I realized that to be mahålang for someone is actually a beautiful thing. It means that you have experienced a profound depth of love that one’s physical absence is a reminder of the imprints they left.
As difficult as today was, I spent 15 seconds turning my sadness into joy. I honored him by playing his favorite song, drinking a Pepsi, and sharing stories of his witty dad jokes with my partner as we visited his grave. In return, my father nudged me with signs that only I could translate.
Even though he is no longer here on earth, I am reminded that it takes 15 seconds to ask my dad for guidance. And with that, he continues to send both the difficulties and joys of life for my growth, as any father would.
With that said, I wish you a Happy Father’s Day not just today, but everyday to you and yours.
Much love,
Akina
Lessons From Our Dads
☀️ Enjoy the Moment
I will always remember my dad's life lesson about enjoying the moment and not taking things for granted. My dad grew up in the Philippines with nothing and helped his parents raise his 13 other brothers and sisters, so he always talked about how he had to manage to get around the farmland and find food for himself and his family. My dad had the greatest patience in the world and learning how to be patient like him really allowed me to slow down and think calmly with whatever situation is put in front of me. - Stephanie K
🌻 Be Kind
He never sat down and lectured me on what it meant to be kind; he just was. Every single day. Even on his worst days, whether it was from his job or personal life, he was always kind. When you're young and being told to be a certain way or do a certain thing, the complete opposite always happens. However, when you witness something through example and everyday actions, it's embedded in you whether you realize or not. That's what my Dad did: he taught me to be kind without realizing it and I'm always grateful for that, and to him. - Nicanor M.
🏃🏻♂️ Go After What You Want in Life
I was in high school, and I’d regularly skip school by pretending to head to the bus stop and when the bus would leave, I’d walk back home. One day my stepdad missed work because he caught wind of me playing hooky so he waited for me at the bus stop with his truck packed with a cooler and fishing gear and told me to get in. He knew my life was on a downward spiral but instead of lecturing me, he talked to me about how he could never replace my biological father and about life - how I should always go after what I want in life and not to let anyone stop me. He showed me that he cared when he really didn’t have to and his compassion inspired me in the simplest way. From that day on, I had perfect attendance at school and took classes with the most difficult teachers. - Edward C
💭Did you know….
That Father’s Day was officially recognized as a holiday in the United States in 1972 by President Richard Nixon.
Around 52% of fathers say they are the primary grocery shoppers in the family, an increase of 10% from 1995. Additionally, 11% of moms research the products they buy compared to 24% of dads.
Father seahorses are the only male animals to become pregnant. They accept around 50–1500 eggs from the female, fertilize them, and then carry the eggs for several weeks until they mature.
A study shows that fathers who share household chores with their wives tend to have more ambitious daughters as well as daughters with more broad definitions of gender roles.
The amount of time U.S. fathers spend with their children has tripled since 1965. The number of stay-at-home dads has nearly doubled since 1989.
Take it Easy
We hope this issue was a kind reminder to celebrate the wonderful men in our lives and to be the people our fathers taught us to be. See you next week!
