Issue 39: Dialing Up Deep Connections ⚡️💗
Your week to weekend guide to deeper human connections and fun date night ideas 💕
Hey friends!
While we live in a world where high-speed triumphs over dial-up, take a lesson from the old 90s modem: while connection might be at snail's speed, it’s patient and slow. We take our time, we wait, we’re not distracted by 10 million tabs, and we’re intentional with our searches. As two gals in our thirties, our perspectives on relationships are naturally evolving. Growth is central to it, and the desire to create more authentic human connections – friendships, lovers, children, passion, mind, body, and spirit is pivotal.
And whether it’s the month of love or October 3rd, we’re all connected in some way, shape, or form. We may be celebrating all of that in this issue, but we believe in celebrating love every single day 💕
Much love 🫶🏼,
Marissa and Akina
4 Pillars of Human Connections
We live in a time when we spend more time on our phones than interacting with others. According to stats by Exploding Topics:
📱People spend an average of 6 hours and 58 minutes of screen time daily.
👦🏻 Almost half (49%) of 0 to 2-year-olds interact with smartphones.
👩🏼🎤Gen Z averages around 9 hours of screen time per day.
While making human connections is simple, the Covid-19 pandemic also created this disconnect and a sense of loneliness. As humans, we naturally need human interaction. It’s wired in our brains, and although we don’t notice it, sometimes we’re not connecting as intimately or presently as we should.
We watched this awesome talk by Simone Heng on the 4 Pillars of Human Connections.
Breakdown: There’s a power in numbers. Taking it back to our hunter and gatherer days, we look after one another when we work as a community. When we recognize people in our community, we trust them and feel safe. These instinctual habits haven’t left us.
So, how do we feel more connected?
⚡️ Pillar 1: Build Rapport
Speak to people like how they speak to you. Match their speed and tone, and let them speak and share what’s on their minds. Body language is super powerful. Heng mentions that the first thing people notice when they meet strangers is their hands. You would think their eyes or mouths, but in actuality, it’s these:
Mirroring lets our brain know that “We’re alike.” It’s powerful when people see themselves in you. When you recognize that person, it’s recognizing someone in your tribe.
⚡️ Pillar 2: Finding Commonalities
You are bound together when you seek out people with the same interests and, in your magical way, create your tribe. If you’ve ever been lost in a foreign country, you know the relief of meeting someone who speaks the same language as you, or if you’ve moved to a new place, then the sense of connection when you meet a neighbor who also has a toddler.
This creates solidarity.
⚡️ Pillar 3: Vulnerability
According to Heng, social rejection is equivalent to physical pain. You can feel physical pain in your heart during a breakup, but it’s also a feeling everyone has felt before. At the end of the day, we’re all humans. We all go through the same emotions – happiness, grief, guilt, joy, shame, love, and vulnerability. Being open and vulnerable can be scary. But once rapport and trust are established, then it’s likely that the other person will reciprocate.
⚡️Pillar 4: Being of Service
Being in the act of service (with no strings attached) connects you. It’s being a part of this tribe and being in service for the well-being of others who help your overall well-being. After all, we were all put on earth to be of service to each other.
👑 Esther Perel The Relationship Queen
As curious learners, we watched Esther Perel’s MasterClass on Relational Intelligence and took notes for you 😉 we love her take on relationships as it pertains to growth and cultivating the best relationships you can by understanding Relational Intelligence.
10 Date Night Ideas at Home 💗
If you’re looking for low-budget date night ideas, here are 10 ideas you can do right at home.
1. Travel Themed Dinner
Go to Italy, Thailand, or even the Mediterranean right from your couch. Make a three-course dinner together inspired by a destination.
2. Go on a Virtual Walking Tour
That’s right, you can visit one of the famous museums or walk through a city. Might even go well with your travel-themed dinner.
3. Stargaze in your Backyard
Grab your picnic blankets and lay under the stars. Even if there aren’t any stars out at night, enjoying the night breeze is a great way to get some fresh air and away from screens.
4. Game On: It Takes Two
Get your gaming controllers ready because it’s on. Winner of five awards in 2021, this game literally takes two people. Schedule a few date nights and tackle a series of challenges and puzzles together.
5. Double Movie Feature
Trilogies are long, so make it a double feature. Grab some popcorn and settle in. Here are some of our suggestions:
Psychological Thriller: Black Swan (2010) & Gone Girl (2014)
Hopeless Romantics: Walk to Remember (2002) & The Notebook (2004)
Classic Nostalgia: The Breakfast Club (1985) & Dazed and the Confused (1993)
Based on Books: Crazy Rich Asians (2018) & Jurassic Park (1993)
Friendly Heist: The Italian Job (2003) & The Perfect Score (2004) – See Captain America and Black Widow as babies.
6. Play Miniature Golf at Home
Set up unique courses around your house and play miniature golf. Set up curvy challenges from the bathroom to the living room. Be careful not to break anything!
7. Tasting Event
Whether you’re pairing chocolate with wine or doing salty and sweet combinations, this is a fun activity to do together. Check out our issue on these tasty combos here.
8. Play We’re Not Really Strangers
How deep are you willing to get? This card game has questions you can ask your partner. There are three levels you can choose, each level getting more deeper and intimate.
9. Have a Bottomless Brunch at Home
Get the waffle maker ready and squeeze some fresh orange juice. Host a bottomless brunch at home and set up a toppings bar.
10. Recreate Some of Your Firsts
Take a trip down memory lane and revisit some of your firsts. Start here:
What’s the first meal you had together?
What’s the first movie you watched?
Was there an album you listened to together?
Week to Weekend Reads Curated with Love
Here’s this week’s batch of week to weekend reads.
Learn about attachment styles by listening to Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller on Audible
Do you find yourself overdoing these? Try slow living through minimalism.
The history of conversation heart candies you once received on Valentine’s Day.
You know we’re a big fan of nostalgia. Revisit your favorite cartoons, commercials, and music videos from the 50s - 90s. Talk about finding a time capsule.
Guess which country is building the world’s largest wood city?
A heartwarming story about two best friends who traveled together at 81 years old.
Last year, blogger Levanna Eugenio-Cortez shared adorable DIY Valentine’s Day Goodie Bags she makes with her daughter, Leila.
Have a Good One!
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