Issue 45: Sibling Love
Whether blood or your chosen family, siblings have a way of shaping who we are
Hey Friends!
This week's edition celebrates our siblings. For us Pacific Islanders, family lies at the heart of our existence. We journey through life together, love (and even occasional squabble), and cherish the deep relationships with our blood and chosen families.
As the youngest of four (Marissa) and an only child (Akina), we've found these relationships to be pillars of our growth. Life's tough, but thank goodness for family. In Vin Diesel's famous words from the Fast and Furious series, "The most important thing in life will always be family. The people right here, right now."
Consider this your cue to show some affection to your siblings.
Much love,
Marissa and Akina
But first…
This newsletter is brought to you by Capitol Kitchen, a true grassroots local restaurant that's a favorite among our team.
Recently, they've introduced their Happy Hour, which has quickly become a local favorite. On weekdays from 4pm to 5pm, enjoy a free selection of appetizers, from 4pm to 6pm, you can enjoy half off on appetizers and sushi (our fave). And for those who appreciate a cold beer to unwind, $3 Bud Light drafts are available.
Why not take this opportunity to reconnect and create new memories with your sibling? Capitol Kitchen’s Happy Hour is the perfect backdrop for those moments of bonding that we cherish forever. Whether over a shared plate of sushi or a light-hearted chat with appetizers, it's about enjoying the time together.
Brotherly Love: Lessons Learned from My Greatest Gifts
by Marissa
My childhood may not have been perfect, but it was complete thanks to my big brothers Wil, Reuel, and Dennis, who are 12, 10, and 8 years older than me. They were much more than siblings and are the greatest gifts my parents ever gave me. Through their actions, they taught me what it means to love, laugh, and live.
Wil, the eldest among us, introduced me to the world of stories. I remember following each word he read to me during our daily library visits after school in kindergarten. This ritual not only taught me how to read but also ignited a lifelong passion for books—a foundation upon which much of my later life would be built.
Reuel, the heart and glue of our family, instilled laughter and cultural richness into my young life. From handing me my first book—a well-thumbed copy of Stuart Little—to sharing his love of films and music, he was the one who gave me my first taste of the world beyond home. His gifts went beyond the tangible; he instilled in me the street smarts and humor that have shaped much of my personality.
Then there was Dennis, the artist and dreamer whose sensitivity was matched only by his open-mindedness. We became closer in my teenage years, and he taught me introspection and the art of self-reflection. It was through his influence that planted the seeds of writing, which grew to be a creative outlet that I find so much joy in.
Each brother, in his unique way, contributed to who I am today. They were my mentors and rocks, offering protection and the freedom to grow and explore who I was meant to be. Through their examples, they showed me that good men exist and that they can be strong, kind, and wise.
Now, as a mother of two boys, I carry with me the lessons learned from these three remarkable men—my guides, my best friends, my unspoken heroes, and that my boys grow up to be as close and amazing as they are.
I hope my boys never feel alone because they will always have each other.
Birth Order Really a Thing?
Source: How Does Birth Order Shape Your Personality?, Birth Order Theory: Insights Into Your Personality, Does Birth Order Really Determine Personality? Here's What the Research Says
We've all seen the "Oldest-Middle-Youngest" trend (like this one with the Lawrence brothers). The stereotypes that the eldest is bossy, the youngest spoiled, and the middle child is forgotten are common. But does birth order matter, and how accurate are these stereotypes?
Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler introduced the "birth order" theory in the early 1900s. Despite numerous studies, researchers have struggled to reach a definitive conclusion. Cultural backgrounds also play a significant role, particularly within Asian and Pacific Islander communities. Here, the eldest sibling frequently takes on a parental role, while the youngest often assumes responsibility for caring for their elderly parents.
Each family is unique, shaped by its blend of cultural, biological, social, and situational factors. Birth order alone doesn't determine our identities as much as Adler suggests. While it may play a part, broader influences come into play.
AAPI Siblings in Biz
Sienna Official is a jewelry business run by Sanyana and Shantel Joseph, two Micronesian sisters living in Hawai'i. Sienna Official sells necklaces and other jewelry pieces that read "woman" or "beautiful woman" in dozens of Micronesian languages or tell a Micronesian folklore. (Read more here).
Omson is a Vietnamese spice company run by a sister duo, Vanessa and Kim Pham. Daughters of Vietnamese refugees, the sisters created Omsom to bring delicious sauces and noodles in partnership with iconic Asian chefs.
Sisters Taran and Bunny Ghatrora are the masterminds behind the beauty brand Blume. As a clean solution for all things self-care, the sisters aim to destigmatize women's health and shift the narrative to normalize discussions centered around acne, sex-ed, puberty, and more.
Long Distance Sisters
By Akina
Throughout childhood, I longed for a younger sister, often wishing my parents would surprise me with a companion to share clothes and secrets with. Like Marissa, I was fortunate to have a team of boy cousins who stepped in as big brothers. While my older girl cousins were paving their paths in the US, I became the youngest and only girl of our close-knit tribe until Iris came along.
Iris and I are separated by a nine-year difference, so we missed out on the classic childhood camaraderie. But as we each rode our rollercoasters through adolescence and womanhood, our bond grew stronger during our shared time living in Hawaii.
My wardrobe became a lending library with no due dates, coffee and bar tabs paid by Bank of Aki, and words of wisdom (aka lessons from my poor decisions) lost in the dark abyss. In return, she taught me much about why I shouldn’t get an air fryer, how to overcome my driving phobia, and most importantly, self-love.
As we navigated our mid-twenties and thirties, I realized that I had a little sister all along. Our daily phone calls have become a ritual, and even though she doesn’t always listen to my advice, I continue to guide her to the best of my abilities, always reminding her that she has me in her corner.
Despite being thousands of miles away, we continue to stay in contact and do a few of these things together.
A few things Iris and I virtually do together:
Catch up over Facetime (aka she watches me work)
Play Overcooked on Nintendo Switch (and yell at one another in the process).
Play a drinking game while watching Willy Wonka
Come up with conspiracy and true crime theories
Pretend we're bartenders and shake up new drink recipes
Create new jingles together
She crotchets (while I work)
Attempt to watch movie trilogies (which she sleeps halfway through)
Week to Weekend Reads
Speaking of cousins, a must-read article (and must-follow newsletter) by Jasmine Stole Weiss on two cousins who built a community sharing Micronesian stories.
Thinking of running a business with your sibling? Here are some reasons why it could actually be mutually beneficial.
Laugh at these funny sibling stories.
You'll never get tired of watching this classic: Step Brothers (available now on Netflix).
If you're a parent with one child and are thinking of having a second, third, and/or fourth, this article might sway you 999to having more.
The beautiful thing about chosen families.
👋 We’ll Catch You Next Week, Friends
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Great issue!